The American people have a choice
In this our solemn quadrennial mess:
Socialist one, pro-abortion, smooth voice
Or number two, pro-abort, L-D-S.
The Evil Party loves contraception,
Makes it the role of employer to pay.
The Stupid Party has this conception:
Onanism’s great the free market way.
Each ticket boasts a Roman Catholic veep.
(Papistical votes ought not to be missed.)
One’s crude, gaffe-prone, a shadow from the deep.
Veep two is Randian, Objectivist.
     With blessings like these in democracy,
     I’ll take a good old Catholic Monarchy.

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